Laughing for days
What's the most illegal thing you ever did?
Anonymous

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

brbjellyfishing:

hogwartsisbiggerontheinside:

I just found this on stumbleupon with no context and no website. Just the image url.

Who is she

brbjellyfishing:

hogwartsisbiggerontheinside:

I just found this on stumbleupon with no context and no website. Just the image url.

Who is she

caitlincst:

ohmalley-thealliecat:

sam-winchester-cries-during-sex:

lunar-bunnie:

my

image

don’t want 

image

unless you’ve got

image

image

my snake don’t want habit unless you’ve got rabbits mulan protagonist

That’s the antagonists you moron

I will reblog this until my fingers bleed

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

cybertutu:

wtf is this????? maybe i’m not human???

image

kismaayo:

job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job

what does puta mean?

sarahkeilman94:

I’m at the grocery store with my grandparents and my grandpa has wandered away and now my grandma is going up every isle yelling his name and im hiding behind a cookie display cuz i dont want anyone to know im with the crazy woman screaming dick at the top of her lungs

kawaiisquad:

finsley:

gangnam style came on the radio again

this sounds like a post apocalyptic diary entry

denchgang:

hello ladies i googled feminism please sleep with me

I asked an Asian girl for her number, she said “SEX SEX SEX FREE SEX TONIGHT” I was like WOW  and then suddenly her friend explained “She means 6663629”. ok. 

IM CRYING

pocketsext:

cinderella by day

sinderella by night 

yinx1:

sueanoi:

betweenthetights:

blogfrenzy:

water is wet

the sun is hot

leaves are green

Republicans are white

yinx1:

sueanoi:

betweenthetights:

blogfrenzy:

water is wet

the sun is hot

leaves are green

Republicans are white